well, here ya go.

monday:

• awaken at 3:00 am.
• pick up two redheads and a destin.
• nearly ended the life of a fluffy, white cat on the freeway.
• stop in beaver because i don't have the driving endurance that i thought i did.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "deep inside us we all have a hidden desire to cannibalize each other."
• stop somewhere in the mojave desert to eat lunchy lunch.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "gusty winds ahead."
• "BLOOMP POP BAAMM."
• stop to pick up our sleeping bags off the freeway because our car topper opened.
• "screamin' in the front seat, cryin' in the back seat. gotta get our stuff back, which sleeping back should i chaaaase?"
• stop at a gas station and purchase duct tape.
• destin pees.
• continue driving with our ghetto fabulous car topper.
• nappin' in the back seat because destin's driving makes me anxious.
• switch drivers. i get us momentarily lost. 
• gladys is always there to guide us. "turn around. when. possible."
• the beach is spotted.
• hard-of-hearing wendy's worker directs us to refugio state beach.
• destin pees.
• ten minutes north.
• we finally arrive.
• so many elderly people.
• beach.

• grocery shoppin' trip.
• "is this your wife? you're a lucky man."
• fire. hot dogs.
• beach.
• sleep.

tuesday:

• awaken bright and early.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• hike. (walk.)

• aniso means seagull.
• chasing seagulls.

• poked anemones.

• mini hogwarts sand castle.

• dead bunny tunnel.
• "groin remains in sand and water."
• camera broke.
• squirrels + pretzels = full cheeks.
• pb & pb sandwiches.
• beach.
• sea bugs.

• crabs.

• coooooold water.
• sunburns.
• frisbee.
• survivor in the hut. mr. and mrs. seagull were eliminated.
• knee pit burn.
• need quarters to shower.
• waiting for the soy milk to thaw.
• cereal fer din.
• fire.
• picture telephone.
• "the square cowboy steals the underwear of children and uses it to decorate his christmas tree."
• cuddlin' in the tent. i know, strange. we thought so too.
• "deep conversation time."
• sleep.

wednesday:

• awaken.
• beach walk.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• pack up all the things.

• drivin' south.
• santa monica pier.
• silver rappin' man.
• feed big bertha.

• best old man magician ever. (winked at me.)

• "they don't have a beach in utah."
• zuko dog.
• bearded elderly man winked at me. (that's two. on one pier.)
• destin backflippin'ly impressed a lady.
• more southern drivin'.
• arrival at doheny state beach.
• more elderly people.
• beach walk.
• more seagull chasing.
• feet burying.
• japanese restaurant. SUSHI.

• ruben's.
• adorable houses.
• "what? evan's asleep? it's 8:30..."
• "alright, cool. we'll just snuggle next to him while destin's at the beach."
• sleep.

thursday:

• awaken.
• cereal and cup o' noodle breakfast.
• father brings flowers.

• drive to aliso beach in laguna.
• walk along the coast forevz.
• destin is the little mermaid.

• man sitting on a large rock.

• moses was skimboarding.
• small dog.
• elderly man follower.
• DOLPHINS.
• cliff climbin'.
• underwater pictures.
• awesomeville.

• "there's soap in that bathroom!"
• "dogs are cuter in california."
• giant waves.
• body surfing and getting pummeled.
• lifeguard: "you guys are welcome to swim out there, but i that's a trip to the hospital right there."
• superheroes.

• pb & pb sandwich lunch out of my trunk in front of the tow truck man.
• superman sunburn impresses many a beach-goer.
• moved to smaller-waved area.
• water. so. much. colder.
• swim/die of hypothermia.
• walk to use the bathrooms in awesomeville.
• bunnies.

• MORE DOLPHINS.
• ponder/read as we intrude in awesomeville.
• "the lizard is digging!" "or mating..." "oh come on, destin."
• papa's tacos: shrimp and mahi mahi.

• back to awesomeville to eat and watch the sun set over the ocean.

• postcards.
• back to doheny.
• bonfire stories.
• free shower.
• solarcaine.
• sleep.

friday:

• awaken even earlier.
• pack up all the things again.
• breakfast of cereal and cup o' noodle.
• drive to l.a. temple.

• "you're a 34, right?" alright cool, elderly man. let's play 'guess my bra size'.
• baptisms. <--the best thing.
• another free shower.
• on the road again. 
• i drive while the child, the husband and the family friend/cousin/neighbor/daughter/son/etc. sleep.
• fire on the side of the road.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• thunder down under.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• drive for ONE THOUSAND YEARS.
• stop in scipio. (tradition.)
• destin pees.
• guess what. THEY NOW HAVE A ZEBRA.

• sunburn makes my feet too fat to fit in my sandals.
• mustache machine malfunction.
• mustache engagements.
• "watch out honey, i'm in a romantic mood."
• patrick poncho.

• WE NEED FOOD NOW OR WE WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH SO WHY ARE YOU CLOSED DAIRY QUEEN? YOU TOO SUBWAY? fine, we'll settle for salsita chips and another pb & pb sandwich. no thanks to you, scipio.
• drive for what seems like another thousand years.
• aaaaaaand 1836.5 miles later and we are home.

thank you gladys, we couldn't have done it without you.