feelin'

i've been feelin' strange lately.
not bad, just different. 
i'm so different now than i was even in january.
i don't know what it is, and i couldn't tell you anything in particular. 


maybe i know now more than ever that only you can make you happy.
happiness doesn't depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. it it measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life. 
for with God, nothing shall be impossible.

pretend this post isn't weird, and pretend you're inspired by it.
my apologies; it's late, i'm sick and i have only left my room about four times today.

crazy worm legs.

i found this video from long ago. (you know, earlier this year). (which seems like an eternity, anyway).


so you know, here ya go:

Crazy Worm Legs from Ashley Mecham on Vimeo.


compare to:

one of those nights.

you know what i'm speaking of.
one of those nights where your house is empty (which, like, never happens.)
one of those nights where you sit and watch gone with the wind with your mother.
one of those nights where you eat nothing but a large, delicious salad and an almost-all-the-way-cooked pecan cookie from work with said mother.
one of those nights you know you'll miss when you move out again in a week or so.

that is tonight.

just a little somethin' to brighten up your monday.

or, you know, terrify you.

Jamie's Toe Surgery from Ashley Mecham on Vimeo.

they say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum...

...but it's cool to the paw - try it. they say my tail needs to be dry cleaned twice a month, but now it's fully detachable - see? they say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. i guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. and even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals i've ever met in my life. 

so let's raise our boxes - to our survival.

hey.

everything passes,
everything changes.
just do what you think you should do.

-bob dylan

"i will not take a nap today"

turned into:
"i'll just close my eyes for one minute"
which turned into:
"twenty minute nap at the most"
which turned into:
"my word! i've been asleep for three hours!"

waking up at 4:30 every morning to open the bakery'll do that to yeh, i've learned.

well, okay.

so yeah, it's been a bit.
i just wanted to stop by and recommend THE BEST BOOK to all of you.
i'm sure you remember this post. (what? you don't keep an internal record of all my blog posts?)
well, since that post, i restarted said novel about four times.
BUT. if you buy thirteen completos a few weeks ago i felt inclined to actually read the entire thing.
so i did.
AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.
please read it. please.
this is me begging.
i know i look pathetic here on my metaphorical knees.
but throw a starving man a piece of bread.
READ IT.

I believe there are monsters born in the world to human parents. Some you can see, misshapen and horrible, with huge heads or tiny bodies; some are born with no arms, no legs, some with three arms, some with tails or mouths in odd places. They are accidents and no one's fault, as used to be thought. Once they were considered the visible punishment for concealed sins.
And just as there are physical monsters, can there not be mental or psychic monsters born? The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or a malformed egg can produce physical monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul?
Monsters are variations from the accepted normal to a greater or less degree. As a child may be born without an arm, so one may be born without kindness or the potential of conscience. A man who loses his arms in an accident has a great struggle to adjust himself to the lack, but one born without arms suffers only from people who find him strange. Having never had arms, he cannot miss them. Sometimes when we are little we imagine how it would be to have wings, but there is not reason to suppose it is the same feeling birds have. No, to a monster the norm must seem monstrous, since everyone is normal to himself. To the inner monster it must be even more obscure, since he has no visible thing to compare with others. To a man born without conscience, a soul-stricken man must seem ridiculous. To a criminal, honesty is foolish. You must not forget that a monster is only a variation, and that to a monster the norm is monstrous.

John Steinbeck, East of Eden

employed.

that's right, ladies and gents.
i am no longer a lazy good-fer-nuthin'.

the rapture was here.

i want to tell you all about my weekend.

i do. it's been amazing.
but alas, i feel like we have to get this big elephant out of the room.

i'll just go ahead and say it...the rapture was crazy.
no billboard in town (or out of town) could have prepared me for this.
i mean, there we were, minding our own business at the london market when...
well, see for yourselves what happened to these children:

these children.

right?
riiiight??

turns out they just dropped their clothes in the middle of the road and ran to grab an ice cream from the ice cream man. i was so relieved.
but i'm sure you all can see how crazy it really could have gotten around here.

i am happy to report we all survived and live to tell the tale of this so called rapture slash end of the world scare. 

even if it did happen, it would have been really disappointing. i was just about to buy a candy bar that is not for girls.

well, here ya go.

monday:

• awaken at 3:00 am.
• pick up two redheads and a destin.
• nearly ended the life of a fluffy, white cat on the freeway.
• stop in beaver because i don't have the driving endurance that i thought i did.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "deep inside us we all have a hidden desire to cannibalize each other."
• stop somewhere in the mojave desert to eat lunchy lunch.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "gusty winds ahead."
• "BLOOMP POP BAAMM."
• stop to pick up our sleeping bags off the freeway because our car topper opened.
• "screamin' in the front seat, cryin' in the back seat. gotta get our stuff back, which sleeping back should i chaaaase?"
• stop at a gas station and purchase duct tape.
• destin pees.
• continue driving with our ghetto fabulous car topper.
• nappin' in the back seat because destin's driving makes me anxious.
• switch drivers. i get us momentarily lost. 
• gladys is always there to guide us. "turn around. when. possible."
• the beach is spotted.
• hard-of-hearing wendy's worker directs us to refugio state beach.
• destin pees.
• ten minutes north.
• we finally arrive.
• so many elderly people.
• beach.

• grocery shoppin' trip.
• "is this your wife? you're a lucky man."
• fire. hot dogs.
• beach.
• sleep.

tuesday:

• awaken bright and early.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• hike. (walk.)

• aniso means seagull.
• chasing seagulls.

• poked anemones.

• mini hogwarts sand castle.

• dead bunny tunnel.
• "groin remains in sand and water."
• camera broke.
• squirrels + pretzels = full cheeks.
• pb & pb sandwiches.
• beach.
• sea bugs.

• crabs.

• coooooold water.
• sunburns.
• frisbee.
• survivor in the hut. mr. and mrs. seagull were eliminated.
• knee pit burn.
• need quarters to shower.
• waiting for the soy milk to thaw.
• cereal fer din.
• fire.
• picture telephone.
• "the square cowboy steals the underwear of children and uses it to decorate his christmas tree."
• cuddlin' in the tent. i know, strange. we thought so too.
• "deep conversation time."
• sleep.

wednesday:

• awaken.
• beach walk.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• pack up all the things.

• drivin' south.
• santa monica pier.
• silver rappin' man.
• feed big bertha.

• best old man magician ever. (winked at me.)

• "they don't have a beach in utah."
• zuko dog.
• bearded elderly man winked at me. (that's two. on one pier.)
• destin backflippin'ly impressed a lady.
• more southern drivin'.
• arrival at doheny state beach.
• more elderly people.
• beach walk.
• more seagull chasing.
• feet burying.
• japanese restaurant. SUSHI.

• ruben's.
• adorable houses.
• "what? evan's asleep? it's 8:30..."
• "alright, cool. we'll just snuggle next to him while destin's at the beach."
• sleep.

thursday:

• awaken.
• cereal and cup o' noodle breakfast.
• father brings flowers.

• drive to aliso beach in laguna.
• walk along the coast forevz.
• destin is the little mermaid.

• man sitting on a large rock.

• moses was skimboarding.
• small dog.
• elderly man follower.
• DOLPHINS.
• cliff climbin'.
• underwater pictures.
• awesomeville.

• "there's soap in that bathroom!"
• "dogs are cuter in california."
• giant waves.
• body surfing and getting pummeled.
• lifeguard: "you guys are welcome to swim out there, but i that's a trip to the hospital right there."
• superheroes.

• pb & pb sandwich lunch out of my trunk in front of the tow truck man.
• superman sunburn impresses many a beach-goer.
• moved to smaller-waved area.
• water. so. much. colder.
• swim/die of hypothermia.
• walk to use the bathrooms in awesomeville.
• bunnies.

• MORE DOLPHINS.
• ponder/read as we intrude in awesomeville.
• "the lizard is digging!" "or mating..." "oh come on, destin."
• papa's tacos: shrimp and mahi mahi.

• back to awesomeville to eat and watch the sun set over the ocean.

• postcards.
• back to doheny.
• bonfire stories.
• free shower.
• solarcaine.
• sleep.

friday:

• awaken even earlier.
• pack up all the things again.
• breakfast of cereal and cup o' noodle.
• drive to l.a. temple.

• "you're a 34, right?" alright cool, elderly man. let's play 'guess my bra size'.
• baptisms. <--the best thing.
• another free shower.
• on the road again. 
• i drive while the child, the husband and the family friend/cousin/neighbor/daughter/son/etc. sleep.
• fire on the side of the road.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• thunder down under.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• drive for ONE THOUSAND YEARS.
• stop in scipio. (tradition.)
• destin pees.
• guess what. THEY NOW HAVE A ZEBRA.

• sunburn makes my feet too fat to fit in my sandals.
• mustache machine malfunction.
• mustache engagements.
• "watch out honey, i'm in a romantic mood."
• patrick poncho.

• WE NEED FOOD NOW OR WE WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH SO WHY ARE YOU CLOSED DAIRY QUEEN? YOU TOO SUBWAY? fine, we'll settle for salsita chips and another pb & pb sandwich. no thanks to you, scipio.
• drive for what seems like another thousand years.
• aaaaaaand 1836.5 miles later and we are home.

thank you gladys, we couldn't have done it without you.

dear elder.

i really don't want to write you a letter.

it really freaks me out that you wrote me a letter.

i know we've never met, and i never want to meet you...


i have no idea why you even wrote me a letter.


i'm actually 47 and have 13 cats. my brother lied to you. is that okay?


don't make me do this.


"i enjoy jumping off tall objects"? what does that mean?


snowboarding and paint balling are my life. oh wait, that's you.


you sound like a real gem, but i am just terrified of this whole situation.


tell the bro i say hello.


so, uhh, tell me about yourself. no. don't. i hate this.



i've got nothin'. how do you start a letter to a person you've never met?
recap: the missionary brother's companion wrote me a letter (which creepily tells me that i am attractive - two times) and wants me to write him back.

it would be rude not to, right?
i mean, right?

thank you.

joshua mecham sr.
for joining the church in 1836.


joshua mecham sr.
joshua mecham jr.
lewis mecham sr.
lewis mecham jr.
lynn mecham sr.
lynn mecham jr.
ronald mecham.
ashley mecham.


a family of creative namings.
i just love genealogy.


i also learned that i have a great great great great great uncle by the name of leonidas moses worthen mecham.


first son's name: li'l baby leonidas.

the day.

this very day was particularly productive.

woke up. (more productive than usual already.)
ate a real healthy breakfast.
went running.
showered. (i know.)
"you have a letter." (excitement.)
what? i don't even know him. (fail.)
deconstructed (real word?) the small room that hasn't been used for anything.
made it into a baby room.
so that now i have MY OWN ROOM.
i no longer have to share with my constantly noisy (even while sleepin') one-year-old niece.
finally unpacked all of the things.
babysat the chitlins.
vacuumed up their constant messes. (which is a big deal.)
stole my mission brother's glorious mattress from my high school brother. (with permission, mind you.)
art exhibit. is that what that was? there was a man with a dog in his jacket.
earthfruits. (because spoon me is still closed.) cheesecake bites.
harold b. lee library.
in bed by 11:30.
likagramma.
why am i not feeling a feeling of heaven underneath me?
because rude high school brother stole the mattress back.
and because he is in high school, he's asleep on it.
and because i'm a saint, i don't storm in there to wake him up and demand justice. (like i should.)
don't worry, i will have my revenge.
does that counteract my saintly comment?
shh.

good things lately II.

• finishing all my finals, and doin' pretty dern well on 'em.
• moving home.
• hearing the mowing of lawns outside.
• babysittin' the chitlins. 
• nephew watching me throughout my entire run on the treadmill this morning, and when i finished i hear, "you win!"
• planning camping trip to californ-i-a.
• being incredibly lazy, always.
• eating healthy food.
• easter easter easter. the best holiday. 

^^the gospel truth.

kiwi birds.

okayokayokay.

so i always knew these critters existed.
but SRSLY? they're the weirdest things on this earth.
just... look up videos of them.
they move so weirdly.
i just don't know the words to describe the strange feeling i get when i watch them.
i love them.
i need one.

maybe it's because i can relate to them.
don't think about that too much.

i wish.

that when i opened my window, i would hear birds chirping, or even nothing at all.
instead i get: MERRR GURRRR HAMMEMRRRRRR CLINKK CLINKKK RAAAWRRRRR.
construction is no good.


j-dawgs are good. which is where i plan to eat tonight, rather than stay home and study accounting. 


accounting is no good. it makes me want to stare at the sun until my retinas burn eternally.


the sun is good. i wish it would stop shining until i'm finished with finals, though. that would make studying much easier. 


studying is no good. that's what i've been doing non-stop. and what i will be doing non-stop for the next five days. 


five days. that is good. 


summer is soon.

studying.

my roommate almost never has a large group of friends over. until tonight: the one night i decide to stay home and study for finals. awesome. hey how 'bout you guys watch tangled as loud as the television will let you right on the other side of this paper thin wall? oh you already were? okay, cool.

can't focus.

listening to joanna newsom sing about meteorites counts as studying for physical science, right?




*update*
my roommate brought me banana cream pie. she is completely forgiven.
yeah, that's all it takes.

day twenty-nine.

[a picture of something you're addicted to]

food blogs.

instead of posting a picture, i will post a link to my current favorite food blog.

tastespotting.

i can literally spend hours here, sifting through photographs of foods i'm much too lazy and cheap to actually make.

the similarities.

freak me out.

day twenty-eight.

can i just tell you I AM SO DONE WITH THIS THIRTY DAY CRAP.
^^maybe a slight overreaction, but still.

[a picture of your favorite book]

don't have one. HAH. in your face, thirty days.

so here's my current read:

stop. stop. i'm not that far. stupid school gets in the way.
say nothing.

day twenty-seven.

[a picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently]

no, no, not laying upside-down on a bed with kim and lindsey. nor is it photo-shopping pictures to make myself and others look blue-skinned. 


it's got to be good ol' byu. though i disliked it at first, loathing the lack of diversity and seemingly endless restrictions, it's become another home to me. 


i believe that college is the place where you become who you will be for the rest of your life. at least in many respects. i feel so blessed to be surrounded by people who have pledged to keep their standards high - academically and in their everyday lives.


the majority of the many "end of freshman year surveys" ask this question, "if you were to go back in time and make your college decision again, would you choose byu?"


most definitely.

day twenty-six.

[a picture of somewhere you'd love to travel]


i would love to...

see cherry blossoms in japan

visit easter island in chile 

go for a swim in iceland

ride a camel past the taj mahal in india

marvel at hagia sophia in istanbul

climb a tree in madagascar

explore a castle in scotland

sleep in the ice hotel in sweden

"the ice hotel! it's amazing! i read about it in the travel section. it's a hotel totally made out of ice. the roof is ice. the floors are ice. the tables are ice. the chairs are ice. the chandeliers are ice."

"i think i'm beginning to get the picture. wouldn't it be amazing if you went down the hall and the ice machine was empty?" 

^^name it and earn five minutes of un-interrupted eye contact.

day twenty-five.

[a picture of something you're excited for]

flowers

summer

moving home

to hang out with these hooligans

hopefully beaching

being tan again

all in about 23 days.

day twenty-four.

[a picture of your outfit today]

coat: old navy
scarf: wallymart
mittens: forevs 21
hat: pst
(all the fashion bloggers do that^^ okay?)

there you go. me in all my awkwardness snappin' a photo before my afternoon class. what seems like an overreaction is actually my attempt to maintain the warmth i felt just minutes before this picture was taken. my bed is exceptionally toasty.

day twenty-three.

[a picture of someone you do the most messed up things with]

the phrase, "messed up" in itself makes me think of the one and only jamie vawdrey.

i'm not sure it's as much, "the person i do the most messed up things with" as it is, "the person i watch do the most messed up things."
i'm sure you've all seen this.

signature face. (one of the many)

st. george take one.

our typical: buying popsicles at kohler's then going somewhere random to eat the whole box.

need i say more?

st. george take two.

cleanin' the sink.

surprise.

but srsly, jamie is the very best. though i mock and ridicule her relentlessly, i hope she knows i love her with my whole heart. from matching shirts at classic skating (age eight), to waiting outside my bathroom door on my birthday (age 19), we've been through it all together. though we recently realized that we have literally nothing in common, i know she'll always be there (needed or not). love you bff, def totes.

day twenty-two.

[a picture depicting your dream last night]


i'm not sure which picture to use to depict the following snippets that i can remember:

• junior high friends were there, which is weird because i haven't seem those boys in ages.
• someone entrusted jamie with their baby, which promptly got spun around by her right arm and foot.
• all my teeth fell out. (which i dream about a lot, and if someone could explain that to me, it would be much appreciated.)

that is all i can remember.

and now the picture to depict it all:

we all took our jr. high crushes to sadies. presh.

this doesn't depict it at all, but it incorporates some of the main characters.

day twenty-one.

[a picture of the contents of your purse]


that's right, i took the time to actually take a picture of it. that's how much i don't want to do my accounting homework.

$24.37, temple recommend, driver's license, byu id card, atm card, cafe gift card, chile's gift card, health insurance card, car insurance card, address to chandler's mission blog, tiny horse, two bobby pins, stride gum, chap stick, lip gloss i've had since the ninth grade, pencil, pen, tampon.


there ya go. i know that interested you beyond belief.