employed.

that's right, ladies and gents.
i am no longer a lazy good-fer-nuthin'.

the rapture was here.

i want to tell you all about my weekend.

i do. it's been amazing.
but alas, i feel like we have to get this big elephant out of the room.

i'll just go ahead and say it...the rapture was crazy.
no billboard in town (or out of town) could have prepared me for this.
i mean, there we were, minding our own business at the london market when...
well, see for yourselves what happened to these children:

these children.

right?
riiiight??

turns out they just dropped their clothes in the middle of the road and ran to grab an ice cream from the ice cream man. i was so relieved.
but i'm sure you all can see how crazy it really could have gotten around here.

i am happy to report we all survived and live to tell the tale of this so called rapture slash end of the world scare. 

even if it did happen, it would have been really disappointing. i was just about to buy a candy bar that is not for girls.

well, here ya go.

monday:

• awaken at 3:00 am.
• pick up two redheads and a destin.
• nearly ended the life of a fluffy, white cat on the freeway.
• stop in beaver because i don't have the driving endurance that i thought i did.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "deep inside us we all have a hidden desire to cannibalize each other."
• stop somewhere in the mojave desert to eat lunchy lunch.
• destin pees.
• drive forevz.
• "gusty winds ahead."
• "BLOOMP POP BAAMM."
• stop to pick up our sleeping bags off the freeway because our car topper opened.
• "screamin' in the front seat, cryin' in the back seat. gotta get our stuff back, which sleeping back should i chaaaase?"
• stop at a gas station and purchase duct tape.
• destin pees.
• continue driving with our ghetto fabulous car topper.
• nappin' in the back seat because destin's driving makes me anxious.
• switch drivers. i get us momentarily lost. 
• gladys is always there to guide us. "turn around. when. possible."
• the beach is spotted.
• hard-of-hearing wendy's worker directs us to refugio state beach.
• destin pees.
• ten minutes north.
• we finally arrive.
• so many elderly people.
• beach.

• grocery shoppin' trip.
• "is this your wife? you're a lucky man."
• fire. hot dogs.
• beach.
• sleep.

tuesday:

• awaken bright and early.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• hike. (walk.)

• aniso means seagull.
• chasing seagulls.

• poked anemones.

• mini hogwarts sand castle.

• dead bunny tunnel.
• "groin remains in sand and water."
• camera broke.
• squirrels + pretzels = full cheeks.
• pb & pb sandwiches.
• beach.
• sea bugs.

• crabs.

• coooooold water.
• sunburns.
• frisbee.
• survivor in the hut. mr. and mrs. seagull were eliminated.
• knee pit burn.
• need quarters to shower.
• waiting for the soy milk to thaw.
• cereal fer din.
• fire.
• picture telephone.
• "the square cowboy steals the underwear of children and uses it to decorate his christmas tree."
• cuddlin' in the tent. i know, strange. we thought so too.
• "deep conversation time."
• sleep.

wednesday:

• awaken.
• beach walk.
• peanut butter oatmeal.
• pack up all the things.

• drivin' south.
• santa monica pier.
• silver rappin' man.
• feed big bertha.

• best old man magician ever. (winked at me.)

• "they don't have a beach in utah."
• zuko dog.
• bearded elderly man winked at me. (that's two. on one pier.)
• destin backflippin'ly impressed a lady.
• more southern drivin'.
• arrival at doheny state beach.
• more elderly people.
• beach walk.
• more seagull chasing.
• feet burying.
• japanese restaurant. SUSHI.

• ruben's.
• adorable houses.
• "what? evan's asleep? it's 8:30..."
• "alright, cool. we'll just snuggle next to him while destin's at the beach."
• sleep.

thursday:

• awaken.
• cereal and cup o' noodle breakfast.
• father brings flowers.

• drive to aliso beach in laguna.
• walk along the coast forevz.
• destin is the little mermaid.

• man sitting on a large rock.

• moses was skimboarding.
• small dog.
• elderly man follower.
• DOLPHINS.
• cliff climbin'.
• underwater pictures.
• awesomeville.

• "there's soap in that bathroom!"
• "dogs are cuter in california."
• giant waves.
• body surfing and getting pummeled.
• lifeguard: "you guys are welcome to swim out there, but i that's a trip to the hospital right there."
• superheroes.

• pb & pb sandwich lunch out of my trunk in front of the tow truck man.
• superman sunburn impresses many a beach-goer.
• moved to smaller-waved area.
• water. so. much. colder.
• swim/die of hypothermia.
• walk to use the bathrooms in awesomeville.
• bunnies.

• MORE DOLPHINS.
• ponder/read as we intrude in awesomeville.
• "the lizard is digging!" "or mating..." "oh come on, destin."
• papa's tacos: shrimp and mahi mahi.

• back to awesomeville to eat and watch the sun set over the ocean.

• postcards.
• back to doheny.
• bonfire stories.
• free shower.
• solarcaine.
• sleep.

friday:

• awaken even earlier.
• pack up all the things again.
• breakfast of cereal and cup o' noodle.
• drive to l.a. temple.

• "you're a 34, right?" alright cool, elderly man. let's play 'guess my bra size'.
• baptisms. <--the best thing.
• another free shower.
• on the road again. 
• i drive while the child, the husband and the family friend/cousin/neighbor/daughter/son/etc. sleep.
• fire on the side of the road.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• thunder down under.
• switch drivers.
• destin pees.
• drive for ONE THOUSAND YEARS.
• stop in scipio. (tradition.)
• destin pees.
• guess what. THEY NOW HAVE A ZEBRA.

• sunburn makes my feet too fat to fit in my sandals.
• mustache machine malfunction.
• mustache engagements.
• "watch out honey, i'm in a romantic mood."
• patrick poncho.

• WE NEED FOOD NOW OR WE WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH SO WHY ARE YOU CLOSED DAIRY QUEEN? YOU TOO SUBWAY? fine, we'll settle for salsita chips and another pb & pb sandwich. no thanks to you, scipio.
• drive for what seems like another thousand years.
• aaaaaaand 1836.5 miles later and we are home.

thank you gladys, we couldn't have done it without you.

dear elder.

i really don't want to write you a letter.

it really freaks me out that you wrote me a letter.

i know we've never met, and i never want to meet you...


i have no idea why you even wrote me a letter.


i'm actually 47 and have 13 cats. my brother lied to you. is that okay?


don't make me do this.


"i enjoy jumping off tall objects"? what does that mean?


snowboarding and paint balling are my life. oh wait, that's you.


you sound like a real gem, but i am just terrified of this whole situation.


tell the bro i say hello.


so, uhh, tell me about yourself. no. don't. i hate this.



i've got nothin'. how do you start a letter to a person you've never met?
recap: the missionary brother's companion wrote me a letter (which creepily tells me that i am attractive - two times) and wants me to write him back.

it would be rude not to, right?
i mean, right?

thank you.

joshua mecham sr.
for joining the church in 1836.


joshua mecham sr.
joshua mecham jr.
lewis mecham sr.
lewis mecham jr.
lynn mecham sr.
lynn mecham jr.
ronald mecham.
ashley mecham.


a family of creative namings.
i just love genealogy.


i also learned that i have a great great great great great uncle by the name of leonidas moses worthen mecham.


first son's name: li'l baby leonidas.